Dating Scams – 8 Tips How to Avoid Them

dating scams

As in almost every industry, one can think of, scams are using love and romance in order to get into their victims’ personal information and even wallet.

There are tons of dating sites on the internet right now and sure enough, a lot of them are far from the main point. Millions of users every day are seeking for a partner from any part of the city to any part of the world, simply by clicking to their pictures and organizing a simple friendly date for a coffee or a night out.
Dating Scams Online

There are plenty of dating sites, hetero or homosexual ones, for teenagers or adults. Those who are looking for someone who will solely listen to them or the ones who all they looking for is sex. The world of dating sites has gone so far as to have a dating site especially for married men and women who are willing to have an out-of-marriage affair.

There is a site for everything now, isn’t it?

There are countless of witnesses that met online and ended up having a lovely lifetime together, beautiful success stories from online dating sites are not uncommon and most of us know someone who went through the same experience. If that’s all there is on dating sites, then that would look so beautiful, right?

Unfortunately, almost everything that has to do with beauty and art is getting a touch of dirty fingers from scam artists online. Dating and romance sites
top the list of the most affected industries. Millions of people every year lose money to the “lover” they met on dating sites, and sadly, it gets worse.
Most of the dating sites scams aim their victims’ identity theft which can have much worse consequences.

Therefore, today I decided to bring detailed information on how do these scams work, the ways you can recognize them as well as some 8 very useful and effective
tips on how to avoid this type of fraud happening to you. Let’s deep straight in!


How to Recognize a Dating Scam


It is not some of the easiest jobs to recognize a fraud on a dating site, as one of the strongest weapons they got is time and patience. A devastating couple.
With this I mean that they are ready to spend a decent amount of time with their victims, from days up to months, leaving very few to doubt whether it is a scam or the dream love you have been looking for.

At the end of the day, who do expect a scam on a dating site? If there is anyone who actually does, they surely wouldn’t be there at all,
in the first place.

However, they start by asking you to move from the dating website to a social media, email, any other chatting platforms or even phone number as a sign that
they are ready to move to another level in the first opportunity they get. You may be thinking “Just yet?”. This and other suspicious ways scams work under,
let’s have a look at some of the most effective ways you can recognize one!

Too fast, too far – You much probably will recognize something is going well over the line and out of hands, but not all are that good controlling their emotions on
the peak of the moment when a “prince in a white horse” seems to be knocking on the door. However, it is crucial to remain calm and judge the situation neutrally.

Now, I am not a relationship counselor but I know for one fact that scams tend to move the relationship to as far as it goes and that, for as fast as it goes,
unlike someone who really likes you, that will give your time before going further. If they don’t, you got to ask. If not for the sake of pride, do it to recognize
whether the one you are talking to is a real person using the website for the same purpose as you or a mere scam.

“Over-excited” and “over-caring” – Except that, they tend to be very affectionate and excited about every single thing you say or plan, giving you hope for the times to come.

They shower you with restless love and they choose words very carefully. Asking about your family well-being is one of the first things that will show on your screen,

following by the share of personal information from them, that never existed. A sweet story on their life or a pity one that will make you feel sorry for them and grab your attention. Two extremes these that tend to be the roots of a “long loving” lie.

Living locally – Another way scams use to get closer to their victims on dating sites are by telling them they are a local, living in the same country as them but they are required to travel overseas now and then, this to give enough time to avoid an in-person catch-up. To make the matter to look even more real, they promise to visit you “as soon as they get done with the project”. For the visit to never happen.

Language and grammar – The majority of online dating scams are from overseas and that makes it much easier to recognize and come to the verdict that you need to stop it, eventually. How will you know that? One of the first things that will catch your eye is their grammatical mistakes which most of the time is pretty hard to understand and you don’t even want to bother to if it was not for their profile picture. From an extreme forceful language to an over-loving and caring one that, hopefully, will be enough to open your eyes and put you off.

Money stuck and they need your help – Another way dating site scams tend to use to deceive their victims are by telling them that they have a vast amount of money back in their overseas country but he or she needs your help to transfer them to a safer country before they can withdraw in cash. And they will

do that by asking for your bank account and personal details to do so.

At other times they pretend their massive amount of money got stuck and they need to pay the charges to their account by asking you for money and even promising you a huge percentage of that in return. A pretty similar scheme to Nigerian Scams.

Desperate – Another way you can recognize you are dealing with a scam while on a dating site is when you do not approve their request for money and they become
desperate and even turn out persistent with their calls and texts just to have their request met.

Broken promises – Now, you can’t miss this one. One of the last in the list but surely one of the most crucial tips you can recognize an online dating scam is by keeping track of their misses to keep their promises, which probably will be a longer list than the one Walmart handles to you on a Saturday shopping.

If the one you are talking to fails to keep his/her promises then I highly suggest you think again if you want to keep talking with him or her. One of the promises that are usually broken is video-calling and they try to avoid it as long as it takes, most of the times with the reason that the video camera is not working
or the connection is very low. Again, is this possible to happen for days? That’s how you will know your time to leave.

Broken promise for a dinner by a dating scam

Another often-told promise is the date of the visit, which never happens, and the reason for that most of the times is that their money got stuck in the bank and they cannot afford to fly. All this going back to money request to you.


8 Tips on How to Avoid Dating Scams Online


Most of the tips I will share here are pretty similar your mum gave you when you first started making your steps forward in relationships,
however, I am not quite sure if I am a good dating counselor and I want you to know that this has nothing to do with that but it is very recommended for you
to follow if you want to keep yourself safe from this type of fraud.

  1. Do not get in touch with someone who asks you a lot of personal questions since the beginning.
  2. Set your UNTOUCHABLE boundaries when talking to a stranger. Do not give any additional information but name.
  3. Ask for a video call with the one you are in contact with as most of the scams use whole different identity.
  4. Be aware at the change of stories told to you be the same person.
  5. Search for their picture on social media or search engines if is it the same with the one they use in the dating website or the one they have sent to you.
  6. Do not accept money from overseas for the sake of helping someone you met on a dating site bring out of their country. Money laundry is a criminal offense.
  7. Do not give credit card or bank account information to anyone you do not know or you have just met.
  8. Never provide detailed personal information in any social network. Often times it has resulted in identity theft and even an opened account on a social network with the same picture and details of another person.

CRUCIAL: If you accept to travel to another country to meet in-person someone you dated online, it is crucial to tell your family and friends before you do so,

as well as providing the location you are going, together with all the details around the trip. There is a big, unavoidable possibility for a trip to another country

to meet someone you don’t know, to have devastating and tragic results.


Who Are The Top Targets Of Online Dating Scams


Absolutely everyone who is a member of any online dating site makes a potential target and none is safe. It doesn’t matter the country, age, religion,
skin color or any other group of people you may belong to – everyone can be the next target of an online scam through a dating site. However, the list of countries
that top the list of the most reports of losses from the same scheme are:

  • Australia
  • United States
  •  United Kingdom

With all these countries with reported millions of dollars losses every year. And this is absolutely not to be overlooked.


Have You Been Scammed?


I would love for you to not be part of this group of people, BUT, if you have ever been scammed then it is highly recommended for you to visit the same website
and report the person you have been in contact with and their full details, so they can not do the same to someone else, which can save many others.

Don’t be part of the statistics. Save yourself and others.

And by going through this article from top to bottom, you have a good chance to do so.

 

14 Replies to “Dating Scams – 8 Tips How to Avoid Them”

  • Oh yeah, I have seen all of these. I have really kind of given up on the dating sites, because all I get is scams or guys who don’t mean or want what they say in their profile. Do you know of any that really cut out all of the BS?

    • Hey Leahrae!

      I am sorry to hear about that. I would love to have good news for you and tell you a name you could go to, however, I have no particular site I would suggest you could trust because dating scams can be in any of them and none are completely safe. The reasons for that is that is that there is not a lot that dating sites can do to prevent it, leaving your security mostly up to your hands. For any other question, feel free to give me a shout or leaving another comment in here. Thank you for dropping by and your comment!

      -Heku

  • Ah what good information!
    I sure could have used this a few years ago when in the dating pool.
    I think it is great you have tips and include ways to keep yourself safe – it is SO important when meeting someone online and I think people tend to forget that there is a major risk involved.
    Way to go! I look forward to checking out more of your site.

    • Hey Montana!

      I am very sad to hear that you have fallen prey of a dating site and are part of the ugly statistics. Even though things that have once happened to us don’t usually happen again, however, if we don’t protect ourselves then they have a good chance to do so again. I am glad you found this article helpful and I hope you never write as a victim again, and with the tips above added your personal experience, I am confident you will not fall for it again.
      Thank you for your comment and kind words, Montana! Feel free to PM me or leave a comment in here for anything you may need help. I will be glad to help you.

      -Heku

  • Wow, this is such a comprehensive article that I’ve never thought about before. I love your 8 tips and agree that we should be careful with people that ask so many questions at the beginning. Some might just want to know more about you, but others might really be out to scam you and I think this is something we need to always keep in mind. Thanks a lot my friend!

    • Hey Brandon!

      The thing that I liked most is that you didn’t fall prey of a dating scam before and after reading this article, your chances to fall on one are slightly reduced for you. It is true that online worlds is not safe at all and we have to keep our eyes open anytime and anywhere. I am happy that you found this article useful to you. Thank you for your comment!

      -Heku

  • I am really happy that you took the time to outline these scams.

    It’s so true. I am very fortunate to not have any of my close family or friends be affected by an online scammer but I do know that it certainly happens and it’s really sad.

    It’s awful how people take advantage of someone else’s feelings to try to get money out of them. Makes me sad.

    Thank you for putting out this warning!

    Cheers,
    Kahlua

    • Hey Kahlua!

      It is very true that we live on an era where technology and internet have made is much easier to connect between people all over the world, yet at the same time, this is being misused, as most of the good things in life do. This is a reality we are living in – the ugly one.

      However, I am glad to hear that neither you or any member of your family ever fell a prey of a dating scam, and I pray you never do. Thank you for your comment! For anything you may need to know, feel free to leave a comment or write my a PM.

      -Heku

  • Although I am happily married now, I would say I met my husband through a dating site. It is a free one and why I know it is not a scam. I have heard of friends that gave up on dating sites. I will share with them your input and website for sure! Thanks!

    • Hey Kris!

      Here we go, we have a happy story from Dating sites. I would be happy if all the cases through dating sites would have the same happy ending, but sadly they don’t, and that’s why I decided to bring every detail they need to know before going into it or handling while on it. Thank you for your comment Kris and even more for your personal experience with dating sites!

      -Heku

  • Never been much on dating sites. But you must add Ukraine to this list as well, as there are girls who claim that they don’t have a passport and ask for funds to be sent to their account to facilitate a passport and promise to fly to you. I like the 8 steps that you put down as ground rules to avoid dating scams. And you have most of the scenarios of scamsters as well!

    • Hey Rudolph!

      As first, thank you for your dropping by and your comment on the matter. Thank you for informing on the issue with the Ukrainian girls, an issue I mentioned and a method that is well-known yet can be recognized pretty easily following the simple steps above and stay away from it, however, I appreciate your addition information on Ukrainian girls scams and I promise I will research more on it and will see if there is something special in their schemes that people need to know about and the ways how to avoid it. Your feedback for the blog in general, is very welcomed as well! If there is anything else you want to know or need help with, please feel free to contact me personally through my email or simply by replying to this comment!

      -Heku

  • It just down right sickens me there are people taking advantage of other peoples loneliness. But I guess that’s just how most scam artist work. Lonely, poor or otherwise vulnerable people have always been the main pray of scammers. The points you showed here are great for finding out if the person on the other end is real or just a criminal trying to get to your wallet. The unfortunate thing is that the real professional scam artists are almost impossible to identify. They know every trick in the book. They might lead you on for months and even meet you several times just to establish enough trust to disappear with your money, My advice would be to meet in person as soon as possible and ask a lot about friends/family and try to meet them also. If they’d avoid with weird excuses I’d steer clear. Important topic, thanks for the post Heku!

    • Hey Jukka!

      The reality that scam artists are ready to take advantage of ” other peoples’ loneliness” as you said, is an ugly reality indeed and it requires attention in order to avoid it. They are ready for those extra 100 miles in order to get what they want, which is money on most of the times.

      I absolutely agree with your recommendation of meeting the other end of an online relationship in-person, as the possibility for one to fall a prey of a fraud is slightly decreased. Body language, face expressions, voice modulation and other simple yet detailed factors can have massive influence on recognizing a scam, and the same can hardly be exposed online. I am happy to hear you are aware and you are also confident on protection yourself from online dating fraud. Thank you for your comment, Jokka!

      -Heku

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